Lifestyle Lifts | Friendships in Relationships

7:20 PM

cheryl deni

This topic is probably one of the more controversial discussions you'll ever see here. It hits pretty close to home for many, and it's definitely one of the major lifestyle lifts everyone tries to avoid. So, I know I'm going to be stepping on some toes on this one. That's what a blog is for though, right? Even
if it's not, mine is. I like to stir the pot every once in a while.

Friendships should not, I repeat, should NOT co-mingle with your relationships. Truth is, they do. They always do. If it was really that simple, and friends stayed out of our relationships, drama would cease to exist. So, what do you do when your best friend's significant other is best friends with YOUR significant other? What do you do when you're ALL really good friends? How do you go about maintaining those kinds of relationships without ever letting it affect your friendships with one another? You might as well say you're pretty much doomed from the start, right? I don't even know where to start with this one. I'm all over the place right now.

First of all, you need to stay out of it. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that. Just STAY OUT OF IT. Don't ask any questions. Don't put your two cents in and tell her how much you don't like her boyfriend. Don't try to convince her that your methods of running a relationship is the way to do it because not everyone is like you. If your friend does not wish to share any information with you, more power to you. Some people are like that and prefer to keep their relationships private. That's OK. Trust me, you're better off.

However, even though we all know life would be much easier if everyone felt that way, that's usually not the case. So, if your friend is having problems with her significant other and wants to vent to you about it, of course you're not going to shut them out just because you want to stay out of the drama. If your friend needs to be heard, you listen. You do just that, listen. Listen to what your friend feels she needs to vent to make her feel better. It's about your friend, not you. You don't go prying around for information and ask 101 questions to get the juicy 411 on your friend's heartbreak. That's not a friend. That's just a straight up gossip queen. This world is infested with them, and there's no need for more. Get out. You don't give her a play-by-play on how she's going to handle the situation just because you've dealt with a similar experience in the past. You don't even give your opinion on the ordeal, unless she asks for it. Like I said, you're there for HER. This should be a complete act of selflessness. 

Once you've selflessly taken the time to hear out your friend, you put out the fire. You don't feed it. Keep in mind, you are ALL friends in this situation. Even if you're not, we are no one to be judging others for the mistakes they make. You want to put out the fire, not light it. This is an extremely sensitive talking point because it's so easy to start bashing your friend's boyfriend when you see her hurting. The truth is, however, that you have no right to belittle someone, anyone, no matter what they do. There is only one Judge, and He takes care of all. It's not up to us to separate the sheep from the wolves. Be there for your friend as a source of comfort, but don't try and take matters into your own hands. You just end up making matters worse.

Taking matters into your own hands may end up creating problems for you and YOUR significant other. You are affecting more than one person in the decisions you make because you are all co-mingled with one another. You defend your friend and ruin your friendship with her boyfriend. Then her boyfriend feels awkward around your boyfriend. Your boyfriend gets angry with you, and your best friend ends up back with her boyfriend all over again. In the end, you're the only one that ends up thrown under a bus, so to speak.

What's my point? Let's bring love to the world. In all we do, let's do it with love. There's more than enough hate already. Be a good friend, girlfriend, daughter, and sister. "Be yourself, but be your best self."


Blessings,
Cheryl

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