Lifestyle Lifts | 5 Questions Everyone Has About Love

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Love. Probably one of the most complicated lifestyle lifts we each encounter in life at one point or another. The concept is so abstract yet concrete at the same time- so complicated yet simultaneously simple. Do I really need to find love in order to live a happy life? Should I find love at a young age or once I’m stable and mature? Should I marry my high-school
sweetheart or wait for the prince of my dreams? Doesn’t falling in love ultimately mean I’ll have to put a stop to all my fun as a single person? Do opposites really attract, or should I find someone I share similar interests with?

A countless number of questions races through your mind. Especially, when you’re at a point in your life where you feel it’s time to take the next step. It’s time for something more. You don’t long for the weekend to get here like you used to in your high school days anymore. You want to stay in and watch a good movie with someone who can keep you company. You want to share your thoughts and feelings with someone who is going to appreciate them and care.

You come to realize that finding the right person consumes a significant part of your life. What we fail to realize, however, is that, for a significant part of that time, we have more than likely been going about it in all the wrong ways. The true secret is really quite simple, yet so many have such a hard time coming to terms with the idea. So, here’s the secret: it is not up to us to decide who we should spend the rest of our lives with. What? It’s my love life. What do you mean it’s not up to me? Well, exactly that. If you keep reading, you’ll understand what exactly I mean.

I have outlined five questions every person asks themselves, at one point or another, on their journey to discovering true love. Take these five questions and see if any of these have ever come across your thoughts. If you or anyone you know is currently struggling with these inner battles, I encourage you to be a little open-minded as you read this article. You may just come to find yourself in the middle of a mind-blowing intervention.

1. Do I really need to find love in order to live a successful life?
At this day in age, we often come across the misconception that we must sacrifice one in order to achieve the other. Better yet, people are growing accustomed to the idea that maybe life is better off without love at all. It’s seen as more of a distraction than anything else. I can speak from personal experience, especially as an educated, Hispanic female. The pressure is on. More and more young adults are developing a state of mind in which we need to lead successful lives if we want to survive in today’s modern world. We don’t have time for love anymore. This, however, brings me to another question. What is success, exactly? Is it a nice house with a white picket fence, dogs, children, and a good paying job alongside the love of your life? Maybe it’s a life full of adventure, business suits, and traveling to places you currently only get to see in your dreams. Wherever your mind may have taken you just now, one thing remains true. God. Is. Love. God is love. GOD IS LOVE. The very thought of living a life without God is no life at all. So many people claim to have found success, yet still feel a void in their hearts. In the same way, many claim to have found love, yet never fully experience successful living. Why? You come to find that whether your life consists of flying around the world or staying at home on a daily basis tending to your children, one thing is for sure: you cannot and will not ever find true success until you’ve experienced true love. That love is Christ. You do not sacrifice one to get the other. They co-exist as one, in the same way we and Christ are one.

2. Should I find love at a young age or once I’m financially stable and mature? 
Teen pregnancy is at all-time high. So is divorce. More and more young people are growing up with the misconception that finding love is overrated. We live in a society where sex, drugs, and money coincide with love, happiness, and success. Minimal guidance, if any, is being provided as to how and who we should be. Our perception of love is now determined by what we see a small group of young adults act out on MTV and are persuaded into believing that this is how all young people around the world desire to be. This is simply not true. I’d like to see an educational documentary get the ratings that Jersey Shore does each week. I know that’s not going to happen in the lifetime I’ll be around for, and I guess that’s where I draw the line and make my point. It’s where we are searching for love that is the problem. If you plan to seek love in a state of mind where you’re at liberty to be with whoever you want and do as you please until you come across someone decent enough to marry, you’re setting yourself up for failure from the start, no matter how old you are. Truth is, you can be the most mature and financially stable person ever, but that doesn’t make you any wiser. Seek wisdom in Christ, and everything else will play out on it’s own.

3. Should I settle and marry my high-school sweetheart or wait for the prince of my dreams?
Stop. Get this idea out of your head already. I understand that growing up watching the Disney channel, where every princess gets her ideal prince, pretty much set us all up for failure from the start. On the bright side, I have even better news. This life is about so much more than just finding your significant other. Who’s to say we should end up with anyone at all? What?! No one?! Cheryl, you’re crazy. No, guys. Not crazy. I feel restored and renewed is all. All my life, I’ve thought that we needed to take control of our own love life. I figured if I was wise enough and prayed to God for guidance in choosing the right man, I’d be set. Like I said. I was going about it in all the wrong ways. Who am I to choose someone to spend the rest of my life with? Am I the one capable of knowing how the rest of my future plays out? Do I even know if I have a future at all? No. Only God does. It took me 23 years of life to open my eyes and finally see that I, as a human, need to completely and totally die, yes die, to myself and allow Christ to live through me instead. If you need to read that sentence again, please do. It’s important that you understand.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

See, Paul got it. The apostle Paul could not have said it any better. It’s all there. I read it over and over as a child, but I never really saw and felt what he did until now. I mean I’ve always known that when you ask God to come into your heart, you’re saved. Little did I know that it’s so much more than that. Being crucified with Christ means that you’re completely and totally surrendering your all to Him. It’s crazy that I’m talking about this right around Easter, but let’s go back and think about when Jesus Christ gave up His life for us. We think, “Man that must have been tough. I could never do that.” We don’t realize the state of mind that Jesus Christ was in. He was completely and totally dead to Himself, and the only being living through Him was God. Therefore, nothing, absolutely nothing, on Earth could possibly affect his state of mind (not even the fact that His own people hated Him) because His life was completely and totally surrendered to God. It wasn’t Jesus trying to live for God, it was God living through Jesus. It was God playing out His next move for Him. If you really apply this concept to your life, everything else, such as finding your significant other, seems irrelevant. All your focus becomes consumed by Christ. We are incapable of living for God because we will always fall short of His grace, but if we allow God to live through us instead, we’ve won.

4. Doesn’t falling in love ultimately mean I’ll have to put a stop to all my fun as a single person?
I guess the real question here is: what kind of fun are you referring to exactly? I know that partying and BFFs may seem like the life anyone would dream of living right now. Take a step back and think about why you enjoy it so much. What do they have in common? Fun! Yes. Why? Why is it fun? Well, for starters you co-mingle with your loved ones and have a great time. You also get to meet new people and make new friendships. So what’s the problem? Well there’s really only one problem, and it’s kind of a deal breaker. At one point or another, it ends. Your fun as a single person, in that retrospect, eventually comes to an end.

If you look at the planet as a whole, we really only have each other. God gave us one another so we could form relationships. Why? People automatically get into the idea that God gave us each other so we could populate the Earth. Again, it’s so much more than that. God’s intent for us to form relationships wasn’t so we could party every weekend and not remember it the next day. He gave us our relationships so we could experience His love through them. Am I saying you need to fall in love in order to experience God’s love through your relationships? No. As a single person, your walk with Christ has the potential to be just as strong. You can experience God’s love through your loved ones. However, I do believe that God’s love is intensified in a different way when you fall in love and get married because you are able to share and grow on His love together in Christ. Were this not His purpose, the concept of marriage would cease to exist. We would all be single and have one another simply to populate the Earth, as so many people suggest. It’s the unity that takes place in a marriage when you and your significant other become one with God that makes a difference between different types of relationships. There is no greater fun than that. There is no end to that kind of fun. Will falling in love ultimately mean you’ll have to put a stop to all your fun as a single person? No. On the contrary, it will intensify it.

5. Do opposites really attract, or should I find someone I share similar interests with? 
That particular question really comes down to one fear-the fear of being unhappy. You start to question yourself. What if he’s too much like me? You start stating the obvious, “…but he’s nothing like me!” It’s in our human nature to fear. However, it is completely pointless to fear something we have no control over. All our lives, we have been told to “find the person that makes you happy.” We don’t realize that we are totally in the wrong when those words come out of our mouths. We cannot and will not ever find happiness in our significant other. It makes me grind my teeth when I hear others say the phrase, “He completes me.” No. He can’t possibly ever complete you. Love is not found between two people. It’s found in God. The only one capable of completing us and making us whole is Christ alone. We find happiness in the love we receive from Him and Him alone. We cannot depend on one another to find love and happiness because we will always fall short of one another’s expectations. If our happiness really depended on one another, we’d all be miserably doomed. Many people’s excuse for going through with a divorce is that they believe that they deserve to be happy. We treat happiness as a right, instead of a gift from God. God is the only One who can fill our hearts with love, joy, peace, and happiness. So, whether you’re identically similar or from two completely different sides of the spectrum, simply remember where your true happiness lies, and you’ll see how everything else just doesn’t seem as important as it once did. Receive these qualities from God, and then share them with one another.

There you have it. I’m done. If, after all of this, you’re still thinking, “Cheryl, you didn’t answer any of my questions!” There’s a problem. I obviously did not get my message across to you, and you need prayer. No, I’m totally kidding. In all sincerity, you can see that I had one point to make, and it wasn’t on purpose either. These were questions that I ask myself all the time! My blog is basically my thoughts in an open book. That was my purpose for starting it, and it’s my reason for developing a passion and continuing it. So, as I did some self-reflection and tried to answer each of these questions, I realized that each answer ultimately brought me back to one major point. God is Love. God is it. God is all. Find love in Christ first, and you will realize how the rest is irrelevant. Everything else eventually falls into place on it’s own. It’s so easy to become consumed by the things of this world, that we continuously lose sight of our path. Thank God that we have Him to steer us in check during those times. One thing for sure, however: we cannot and should not do it on our own. Trying to take our lives into our own hands only brings about shortcomings and disappointment. Therefore, I leave you with this- walk by faith, not by sight.